Yesterday the verdict for the suspenseful Trayvon Martin case came in, and while I felt numb to the continuity of racial profiling in my life and in the lives of minorities in America, I became frightened by the responses my friends shared across social media. From declaring what we already knew about racism in America, to announcing that George Zimmerman better watch out before another vigilante attack is taken into the hands of somebody else, their ideas of reparation are those that I can't get behind. How do people view justice? This question popped into my head after reading threat after threat (between the occasional candy crush update) to George Zimmerman's life on my news-feed. Certainly if Trayvon became Tracy, a white Florida teenager, this entire situation would be different, but because Trayvon was born an African American male--born into an already existing tension that he had no say in, his death has fueled the fires of this t...
As I've sunk further and further into my depression, I've noticed that in the midst of the numbness I am still open to finding my reason to stay here and live this life. It's almost a different kind of fight. But one that is still so difficult. I've spent my life fighting to be here but lacking understanding as to what is significant about being here at all. There are so many things that live up to society's standards, but not to mine. I've grown into feeling that I'm tired of compromising my life and time into other's daily routine of going with the flow. Going with the flow of rape culture, going with the flow of systemic racism. I am standing on a platform with grief looking back at me, and exhaustion looking forward and I feel like I can't move. I want to get to a point where my life means so much to me that I can't be spirtually exhausted. There is a quote by Nietzche that goes " He who has a why to live can bear with almost an...
So my A'capella concert last night was...honestly, it was success. Haha for how unorganized it was I have to say we went out there and still put on a great performance...now imagine if we had actually been organized and had warmed up and practiced! We would have been unbelievable. There is only a few more weeks of school left and I get more and more excited for the summer with each passing day--can't wait to be stress free...well, at least destressed. Amy and Chris are moving up here early June and I can't get that off my mind. When friends from SD come to visit me I feel as though they bring this certain reality--a refreshing feeling with them (for lack of a better word) and now that two of my really good friends will be living up here with me-not even more than a mile away, its as though I will always have that refreshing feeling with me. Well anyway I am about to head out to teach high schoolers how to sing! Hopefully its a good turn out.
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