There is no antidote

Ok so I don't know exactly how to wrap my mind around this but I am just going to continue to write and hopefully my jumbling will make sense. I realized something about myself this weekend. I can't say its a particular quality that I have because I mean I don't do this on a regular basis (at least conciously I don't). Allen, one of my best friends, and his girlfriend Sarah are my roommates. This mostly pertains to Sarah and not Allen. I feel like I'm trying to hard to be her friend. Its as though I don't really want to be her friend but I am doing so for the sake of saying that my best friend's gf is on good terms with me. I feel guilty- Is it wrong for me to say that I think I just don't like her? I sit here and try to nit pick at the smallest reasons for why I shouldn't like her and it just makes me angry at myself. How immature am I? I am acting like a child, an embarrasement. But if I am being honest with myself I have to say that I just don'

I completely forgot about how the weekend came at the end of the week. For so long I've been treating my saturdays and sundays like mondays and tuesdays. I constantly try to find things that occupy my time-keep me busy to say the least, but I never acknowledge the fact that these two days are supposed to symbolize the termination of what I have been going through all week haha. On Saturday all I did was wake up and watch the soccer game then go to the grocery store, take a nap, and lastly make dinner and hang out with friends. I don't think I have had a day like that since early high school- I'm talking my freshman and sophmore years. I must say though, it was amazing. I would have never suspected that relaxing for 4 hours would be as beneficial to my mental self esteem as it was haha. It was great to hang out with David Herman and Stephanie Liu also. They are some of the most refreshing people I know! Its too bad that Steph will be slaving away at Deloitte soon. I guess it