There is no antidote

It's funny-the differences and similarities in our upbringings. Somtimes it leads to a deeper understanding, and most times it leads to what comes off as annoyance. I just have to say I've gotten to the point of being annoyed. Some of my friends tend to over-exaggerate situations, playing themselves off as victims. But I just have to say that is ridiculous. How is it beneficial to yourself in the least to play yourself the victim for a situation you know there shouldn't be one? I'm tired of victims, I'm tired of having to defend myself or walk tip toe on eggshells to try and make only some people in the group happy. Why can't the entire group just be satisified. the only reason that the minority opinions of the group seem to always work for them is because the rest of us are easy going so it doesn't hurt us so much as to rearrange our agenda for them. To make time for them. It's just really strange; people that know me understand that I do not tip toe on

So the other night was the Leonid Meteor shower which was as you know awesome! But I can't help but feel a little displeased with how the day after the shower ended. Firstly, let's define the term "Scape goat" a scapegoat is one that is made to bear the blame of others. Using it in a sentence may clarify things ever more : Jordan is a scape-goat, he constantly gets blamed for everything even when there is a group decision. I don't even understand it haha I mean the nerve of some people-its inscrutable, it really is. Most of the time I don't mind as much because I know that it isn't my fault lol so I can see when people are just really over reacting, but I'm not going to lie-it gets quite old...quite. Blame is a funny concept-Imagine it as a gift, it's that one type of gift that you hope they still have the target receipt for. No one ever wants it but everyone seems to always give it away. I'm going to make some noticeable changes-especially w

Today was an interesting day to say the least. Not because anything horribly eventful occurred but rather some weird feeling arose. I have this profuse hatred for physics I must say. Every physics problem I come across is sadistic and out for my life. Luckily I have lot's of people to help me with the subject but at the same time even with all the help I am confused by the subject and do not really understand certain problems. Ugh it really gets one thinking. I used to say to myself about the kids who dropped pre med because of chem-"well that's silly, why let one class determine your future?" But I sometimes feel like I've traded places with them. I have always wanted to pursue medicine, always but sometimes the costs feel so large I don't think I can afford them. I want to believe that I am still in this because I know that it's what I want not just to prove a point that I can do it. I guess we will have to see how things develop with this situation tho

I was walking around the book store today-well yesterday I guess, and I ran across a very interesting book. It had to do with the cooperation of music and medicine and I literally was like I have to have this book. The idea of putting both of those concepts together is just heart warming. It's the two main things I love. Perusing through some of the pages, I got the jist that music is more than just notes-but rather a force that in a way connects all people through some kind of similarity. It is so true though- so many people have music in life, and of course it isn't a necessary aspect of life but the fact that we all treat it with so much pertinence amazes me. I love it. If I really sit back and think about it, music has been that metaphorical band aid that has covered and healed so many of my wounds growing up. Even today I-psh, probably everyone tries to console themselves with music in some type of way. It just emphasizes how we are all so similar and that our problems are

you know what I love?-those random fits of motivation that you get in the middle of the night. Motivation is funny, it's like a caffeine pill almost; you could be behaving normally, but then you decide that the next thing you work on will be the most pertinent thing in your life haha then look at you-more productive than ever...at least for the next several hours. An interesting thing to think about I think is WHAT motivates a person; whether it be money or helping other people something keeps us up at late hours of the night. In my case I KNOW what is keeping me up, and I love it.

So I have to admit that every time my friends from SD come up to visit I always become a little solemn when they have to leave. It's like when you hold your breath for an extended period of time and then finally let it out and breath in fresh air. you kind of always want that fresh air around you know, but eventually you have to go back to holding your breath. I don't know, I guess that example isn't entirely clear-maybe even on the bounds of inscrutable to understand ha ha. In any case the end of October was amazing, I had such an awesome time that I just don't know how November is going to top it ha ha. Something I really enjoy: when someone new gets introduced to the group but because they are new it doesn't exclude them from being treated like everyone else I think that is like one awesome concept, ha ha awkwardness. I'm not one to say that awkwardness should be permanently deleted because it makes things so much more hilarious. In any case, I am hopi

Sometimes you just get one of those days where you wonder" how can this get possibly worse" and then you continue to find answers to the question you asked. Today was one of those days. I've had this strange sensation fall over me the past couple of days, a sensation that has been following me with a conviction I have never seen before and it has left me quite tired. I'm tired of having to wait for things to get better-not that I wouldn't go out there and make them better if I could myself; in some situations all you can do is sit back and let the punches roll up and down your face. But is it not ok for me to say that after I've been punched for 10 mins straight I can't be tired? A ring, enclosed in large vinyl ropes Bob to the left-shake to the right quick short breaths quick short breaths A jab at his side, a throw at his side, a cut to the chin It's over right? A simple mistake waking up

I think it so funny that Friday-the commence of the weekend is like this positive force; whereas the weekdays have become such a negative force. No wonder why the weekend looks so attracting. That was a stab at science humor but I don't think that it turned out the way I wanted it to. In any case I am so excited for tomorrow, hanging out with old friends and hopefully making some new ones-oh! and being scared out of my mind...

There are just some people in the world, no matter how nice they are, that will never photograph well. Looking at pics on Facebook has made me come to this realization. Education. In terms of school. Some people are just not meant for it at all, I don' t think that they are against the idea of learning, but rather just not in the colloquial context that we all usually associate it with:text books, analysis, note copying.For me it is truly hard to think that I could live a life outside of school to learn. So many experiences occur at school-it's not just the frigid textbook learning that goes on here, you develop as a person from school. I think that educational systems should develop more clandestine approaches to teaching people who are not meant for the type of education system that we have right now. Fate isn't in your hands It makes little sense to me that The one letter code for Tryptophan is W. Sierra Mist is one of the best sodas that has ever come to touch my lips A

So its the start of the new school year and I am honestly really excited to be back. Being a move in assistant was...an experience but I was entirely glad to see all my UCLA friends again. I say UCLA friends because I recognize that there is a difference-not that I think that one group of friends is better than another that is not what I am trying to say at all. What is the word I am looking for? Motivation. That's the word. There is just this satisfaction in surrounding yourself with people that want to do something, something with their lives-with other's lives, and with the world. I mean I love my friends at home I really do-and in fact I'm not even thinking about some of them fitting into this category as I write this, but then there is that group of friends who just don't seem to want to go anywhere. People can say "well that's not fair Jordan, some people don't think school is their calling" true but I am not just referencing academics. There are

so it looks as though my blogs are going to be merely reactions towards books I have read, but I don't think that will be the case ha-ha. Its just that I have read another good book that has made me ponder about life; the book I am talking about is called The Road by Cormac McCarthy. This book is nothing short of awesome-truly. It really got me thinking. Value- what do we put a value on when it really comes down to it. Love? wealth? Security? There are so many things that seem valuable to us but when it really came down to it-if the things we believed had some worth in our lives vanished, no, were taken from us- I want to know how important would it REEAALLLLY be. I'm trying to think of what I hold valuable in my life. food, friends, laughter (it sounds like a dinner party) but really I value those things so much. I can say that food is extrinsically valuable-actually all of them are because they serve as a means to bring me to what I guess I really want out of life, happiness

So my friend Amy let me borrow this book by Khaled Hosseini, I happen to be quite fond of the man so I think that the book is going to be pretty good. I have only gotten about 100 pages in (it's a 400 pg book) and I have to admit that I love it. There is this one part especially ( spoiler alert! ) where the main character Miriam is forced to wear a burka and it goes through like her mental process of her husband making her wear one. At first I was mad because I was like well how can someone make someone cover themselves like that and hide who they are but, what Miriam explained was how her husband Rasheed wanted her to be protected and basically from his perspective-his wife and him share something that no one else needs to see. There was also a part where she had to stay upstairs while his friends were over and I originally thought well that's preposterous run down stairs and be known woman! But once again I was enlightened when Miriam explained that her husband didn't wan