There is no antidote

So I finally received all my grades for this quarter, and I have to say that I am feeling...I guess ambivalent about the whole thing. On one hand I did well I got a higher GPA than my overall one at the moment so I should be happy about that, but at the same time I'm disappointed that I didn't get an A in my anatomy class. Damn, I tried so hard for that class haha and I couldn't pull it off. In any case, I am blessed that finals week was not that bad. I am blessed that I even get to go to UCLA and have the opportunity to make something for myself- this above all weighs more than my grades. I can't wait to go to San Diego and hang out with my friends, it should be a nice break from this hussle and bussle of LA. One thing I'm not looking forward to is Christmas shopping haha it is certainly the most difficult part of the holiday season. I think I know what to get Chris, and Chris and Amy as a pair but other than that IDK what the heck I should get other people. I'...

Food, friends, and frolicking...Er, perhaps frolicking isn't the best word but it gets the point across. Last night's pre-thanksgiving dinner was great, hands down; it was better than any of the 5 parties my apartment has had since third week. Interestingly enough, before we ate Allen kept asking if we were going to "give thanks" which I honestly couldn't wait to give to my man, The Prince of Peace haha. While saying grace, I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the amount of love I felt from God; Not only has he bestowed me with a roof over my head but more so he has surrounded me with people I can't get enough of, he SHOWERED us with food yesterday even when we thought there wouldn't be enough, and he's come through for me even when I didn't feel like he could. And the thing that gets me most, when Allen implied that we should give thanks I wasn't even sure if the group would have wanted to say grace but because they all were ok with it,...

So I have to say that this weekend has been completely awesome! I love being able to go home and just hang with the SD gang. I never forget how much they mean to me, but at the same time I am always pleasantly surprised when I see them. This weekend made me even more excited for next weekend when Brian and David will be coming up. Among other reasons for why this weekend was great was clarity on my status with Monica. For the first time in a long time, I really like someone , someone I could see myself being in a relationship with rather than liking the idea of being in a relationship. We had such a fun date. She will also be coming up next saturday; Pray that all goes well then too. As for being around my family, I feel like God is still working in their lives but I don't know where I see myself jumping in to help out. I feel so distant towards them that expecting anything less than a real raw relationship is out of the question. I'm so tired of pretending, so tired of brush ...

You know that feeling that you get when you are on a roller coaster, rising up to the drop, hearing the clicking of the track behind you as you ascend; filled with thoughts of "Why am I doing this," "Don't look down," and "Here it comes!" That's how I have felt this past week. God has been changing my life and my family's life and even though I don't know where he is taking us, I have faith that it is somewhere good. I have been thinking about next quarter a lot lately and how difficult I can already feel it shall be. If I set out a planned schedule though and perhaps start doing work during winter break I can really make it a lot easier. I can't belive all that is happening right now in preparing to apply to med school, I'm overwhelmed and excited all at once. I am going to meet with Chriag, a med student and hopefully gain some wonderful insight, hopefully I can see what type of person it takes to go to med school and then from t...

I love Hamburger helper, it makes life that much easier. I haven't really been blogging a lot lately, mostly writing in my journal but I should really try and get on more. I feel like commiting my life to God has been the craziest decision I've ever made! I never know where he is going to take me or what I'm going to discover about myself. Right now, he has taken me to a dark place-like a cave, unequipped. No flash light, no hiking boots, not even trail mix. I pray that he encourages me the whole way though Other than that, school is going well, my upper division anatomy class is amazing. Seeing actual brains and body parts is probably one of the coolest things eva! Looking forward to the weekend and the joys of my friends

Today was a great day! All 20 page proposals have been taken care of and another viewing of the apartment made me really ecstatic to move in! I can't believe that we will be in our own apartment in merely two weeks. I know that I have been living in an apartment all summer but there is something about living with the "team" that makes me so stoked. Other than that, I need to learn how to make curry- I love that stuff and I bet my parents would love it too. When I checked my facebook this morning I saw a friend surfing and I got this ridiculous urge to learn how to surf soooo I am going to go home tomorrow haha. I can't wait, I've been pretty homesick. Looking forward to the weekend.

So I think it was already established that without activity I might as well be dead. I don't do well when I have nothing to do. I had a great plan to spend the day today, and all of my ideas were free. Too bad plans fell through though. I wanted to do only things that were free because I am soo short on money right now. I'm so much on a budget right now that I had to resort to asking my parents to help me financially, and if you know me then you should understand what a big deal that is for me considering my parents barely make enough to support themselves. I can't even remember the last time I asked them for money. I start working on Monday so I am looking forward to making some dough. I just pray that I can have enough to get through the beginning of september- once Financial aid rolls in, I'll be golden. besides that troubling aspect, I really just want to go home! I miss some friends, mexican food...perhaps I am just homesick because I am not actively doing anythin...