WOW

So I have to say that this weekend has been completely awesome!

I love being able to go home and just hang with the SD gang. I never forget how much they mean to me, but at the same time I am always pleasantly surprised when I see them. This weekend made me even more excited for next weekend when Brian and David will be coming up.

Among other reasons for why this weekend was great was clarity on my status with Monica. For the first time in a long time, I really like someone, someone I could see myself being in a relationship with rather than liking the idea of being in a relationship. We had such a fun date. She will also be coming up next saturday; Pray that all goes well then too.

As for being around my family, I feel like God is still working in their lives but I don't know where I see myself jumping in to help out. I feel so distant towards them that expecting anything less than a real raw relationship is out of the question. I'm so tired of pretending, so tired of brush offs, and I want it to change.

Coming back to my apt from this weekend was like landing back in reality. Except for the surreal action my roommate just brought up to me:

Remember from earlier posts, Sarah- his gf that I had a problem with? Well, he approached me and asked if she could live in our apt. I felt like my eyes were going to roll back in my head just thinking about the whirl of emotions she brought this past summer. I feel a little better about her though, I mean at least I feel as though I know some of the reasons why I was upset with her. However, knowing why I was upset and stopping feeling that way are two different things.

I guess his question begs the question, "can I do this again"?

on one hand, its an opportunity to lower our rent, and that is great for everybody... and everybody seemed ok with it, who am I to be the person that doesn't want to help lower the rent or even work on making my relationship with her better- am I going to deny this as an opportunity to make a stronger relationship with her?

Jesus would let her stay, he would let her eat his food, use his towels, drink his drinks; she's not even asking for all of that. Could I be more like Jesus and love everyone around me- easier said than done JC, easier said than done. I think I just need a bit more time to think about it is all. Perhaps she could stay...for a temporary time, time enough for me to change my resentment and move on to a better place in my life!