There is no antidote

So the other night was the Leonid Meteor shower which was as you know awesome! But I can't help but feel a little displeased with how the day after the shower ended. Firstly, let's define the term "Scape goat" a scapegoat is one that is made to bear the blame of others. Using it in a sentence may clarify things ever more : Jordan is a scape-goat, he constantly gets blamed for everything even when there is a group decision. I don't even understand it haha I mean the nerve of some people-its inscrutable, it really is. Most of the time I don't mind as much because I know that it isn't my fault lol so I can see when people are just really over reacting, but I'm not going to lie-it gets quite old...quite. Blame is a funny concept-Imagine it as a gift, it's that one type of gift that you hope they still have the target receipt for. No one ever wants it but everyone seems to always give it away. I'm going to make some noticeable changes-especially w...

Today was an interesting day to say the least. Not because anything horribly eventful occurred but rather some weird feeling arose. I have this profuse hatred for physics I must say. Every physics problem I come across is sadistic and out for my life. Luckily I have lot's of people to help me with the subject but at the same time even with all the help I am confused by the subject and do not really understand certain problems. Ugh it really gets one thinking. I used to say to myself about the kids who dropped pre med because of chem-"well that's silly, why let one class determine your future?" But I sometimes feel like I've traded places with them. I have always wanted to pursue medicine, always but sometimes the costs feel so large I don't think I can afford them. I want to believe that I am still in this because I know that it's what I want not just to prove a point that I can do it. I guess we will have to see how things develop with this situation tho...

I was walking around the book store today-well yesterday I guess, and I ran across a very interesting book. It had to do with the cooperation of music and medicine and I literally was like I have to have this book. The idea of putting both of those concepts together is just heart warming. It's the two main things I love. Perusing through some of the pages, I got the jist that music is more than just notes-but rather a force that in a way connects all people through some kind of similarity. It is so true though- so many people have music in life, and of course it isn't a necessary aspect of life but the fact that we all treat it with so much pertinence amazes me. I love it. If I really sit back and think about it, music has been that metaphorical band aid that has covered and healed so many of my wounds growing up. Even today I-psh, probably everyone tries to console themselves with music in some type of way. It just emphasizes how we are all so similar and that our problems are...

you know what I love?-those random fits of motivation that you get in the middle of the night. Motivation is funny, it's like a caffeine pill almost; you could be behaving normally, but then you decide that the next thing you work on will be the most pertinent thing in your life haha then look at you-more productive than ever...at least for the next several hours. An interesting thing to think about I think is WHAT motivates a person; whether it be money or helping other people something keeps us up at late hours of the night. In my case I KNOW what is keeping me up, and I love it.

So I have to admit that every time my friends from SD come up to visit I always become a little solemn when they have to leave. It's like when you hold your breath for an extended period of time and then finally let it out and breath in fresh air. you kind of always want that fresh air around you know, but eventually you have to go back to holding your breath. I don't know, I guess that example isn't entirely clear-maybe even on the bounds of inscrutable to understand ha ha. In any case the end of October was amazing, I had such an awesome time that I just don't know how November is going to top it ha ha. Something I really enjoy: when someone new gets introduced to the group but because they are new it doesn't exclude them from being treated like everyone else I think that is like one awesome concept, ha ha awkwardness. I'm not one to say that awkwardness should be permanently deleted because it makes things so much more hilarious. In any case, I am hopi...